Gonna Be good.

The other night, I awoke with a fright.

It was 12:32am. Its sounded as if the entire neighborhood dog patrol went off.

Unaware of what was up, I went to the kitchen to snag a snack (because, well, why not) and was just returning to bed when I heard a kerfuffle outside. Heart pounding, I crept to my window, bare naked in the moonlight, pulled back the curtains, and not four feet away from me was the biggest moose I had ever seen.

Stomping her hooves and huffing at the neighborhood dog, I stood there in shock as this moose prepared her imminent attack.

Moments later, she bolted away, shaking the ground as she ran.

And that, was just one of my many summer highlights.

The other day, I was out on a hike and saw a momma bear and her three baby cubs on my way back, and the week before I went out to sea and caught my limit of halibut. Of course I brought in the biggest one. ;)

Let’s see, Monday I nearly fell into the river, attempting to salvage the drift boat from floating all the way down river to Skilak Lake. I finally had my house warming party the Sunday before, and I even went out for karaoke with my friends, which was a first for me!

(karaoke that is, not going out with friends)

It has been go go go, which is, if you ask anyone in Alaska, what one does when you’re living with 20 hours of sunlight in a day.

But I’ve realized I’ve fallen short doing some of my daily routines in the wake of my summer schedule. Laundry, vacuuming, dishes, mowing, reading, writing, and of course taking my coveted naps have all but been tossed to the wayside as I wake up early and go to bed late, exhausted, but ever so happy.

It’s been a while since I felt this alive, this vibrant, and desirous for more days like the ones I’ve been having. Summer is busy, I know that much, but this year feels different, better.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve finally settled into my house, officially living in a space that’s all my own, or because I’ve taken a major step forward in taking care of me and my health, or all my time spent in the company of those I really enjoy spending time with (*happy sigh), but I’ve definitely made the choice that this summer is gonna be good.

And it has been.

So I’m not neglecting writing to you, or God forbid ghosting you. If I’m late in posting, I’m probably out slaying salmon, or taking in the sights. Or trying to recover from a midnight moose…

a change is coming.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Hamilton lately.

Words like revolution, independence, and rebellion have echoed in my head the past month or so, a chorus so fitting to what’s happening in the world right now, our very own modern day movement.

A day doesn’t go by where I don’t see news of what’s happening in the world, this fight for rights and the injustices of racial inequality. All these years later, it’s still happening, this civil unrest.

It makes me sad, knowing that people judge and profile those who don’t look the same as they do. I was raised in a household embracing qualities that made me different, and I always appreciated that about the human race: everyone’s born to be different, and that’s what makes us the same. So it makes my heart ache seeing such hatred aimed at those whose skin color is the only thing that separates them.

I wish that vehement passion could be used for good, for spreading love, equality, and acceptance, not for perpetuating a grossly cruel cycle.

The past few weeks have been difficult for me, and I say difficult in the sense that I struggle with how I can best express my support in this movement.

It’s hard to become properly educated with what’s going on when most of the information I see is varied, opinionated, and coming from unreliable sources. And living in a state as far removed as Alaska makes it tricky for me to feel the same urgency, the passion, this necessity for change.

And so I’ve been quiet.

The pressure from others to do more, talk more, and be involved more, has also led me to internalize and overthink my involvement. Feeling guilty for not being as zealous and passionate about the marches or choosing not to follow a social media trend has stopped me from expressing my support altogether, and it wasn’t until I finally chose to let the pressure go that I was able to get myself back to you: my trusty keyboard.

I’ve always been private about my political beliefs and involvement in such matters, but that doesn’t mean I’m not caught up in fighting for what’s right, and I do so desperately believe that this world needs change.

This is what I’ve learned: change comes in many forms, marching, singing, educating, donating, writing, or simply starting the conversation. As long as my foot is on the gas, it doesn’t matter which lane I’m in: fast, slow, or carpool. If I am moving forward with those who are fighting for change and this much needed revolution, then I’m headed in the right direction.

If you are like me, unsure, conflicted, or not certain about how to best express your support, I encourage you to look within. Opening up the doors of conversation within yourself is starting somewhere, and the more of us that join in the race, the more strength we have to make positive change.