Sway.

“Elan.”

No.

This is not how I wanted to wake up.

Don’t get me wrong: I love waking up to my gem’s voice in the morning, especially when he’s saying my name.

But the way he said it wasn’t the same voice he uses when he wraps his arms around me and nestles up to me as big spoon.

The way he said it wasn’t synonymous with an early morning back massage.

No.

He said my name in the kind of voice that indicated bad news.

“Your phone went off,” he continued in the early morning grog.

Translation: someone called in sick to work.

I’ve experienced enough early morning texts to know that if anyone messages me early on a weekend, they’re likely informing me they’re not coming to work.

Sure enough.

Already short staffed, and already covering for said lack of workers, I instantly felt dread for the day.

And it hadn’t even started.

“Nooooooooooooo,” I echoed back to him. Laced with worry and a tinge of how will I ever survive this existential crisis I sat up and started crying.

It’s weird to start my day in tears, especially when they’re tired, angry, and deflated. But in that moment, it felt like my day was decided, and it wasn’t going to be a good one.

This happens a lot: moments like these in which I feel like the world is ending and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Which, let’s be honest, I usually can’t.

If the movie “Don’t Look Up” taught me anything, it’s that sometimes, despite all your best efforts, there comes a point where you can’t do anything else but ride out the storm.

In most cases though, it won’t end up with a comet destroying all of earth.

Stewing in my pity party whilst getting ready for work, I didn’t accept this knowledge though until my gem sent me a text on my way to the shop.

Encouraging me to give myself a break and to sit back and go along for the ride, he made me realize that despite the early morning setback, I was likely going to survive the day in one piece. Plus, I had him to look forward to at the end of the day.

(I’ll just leave that to the imagination..)

Sure enough, I made it. And all that worrying wound up being for nothing, as it typically goes.

Well, not nothing because it did provide me inspiration.

I’m reminded of a metaphor I once came across, about wind. And a tree.

The tree that sways survives the storm.

The stubborn tree that stands rigid and fights, usually breaks.

I best resonate with the latter tree, I’ll be honest.

But, if I can learn to move, to sway, to accept future obstacles that blow my way, I might just survive the next early morning text, or whatever else it may be..

Tears & Cheer.

There was a reason I didn’t put makeup on during that particular morning.

I knew there was a reason.

Because without even knowing it would happen, I wound up crying.

And no one wants to see this mascara ridden face when she cries.

No one.

Let’s see: it was around Christmas-time.

What day, I don’t remember exactly.

What I do remember is that I was working, and it was manic.

Like a bad dream, this particular shift had me transported back to this summer; which, if you don’t know, was The Worst Working Summer of My Life.

Working through the irreparable damage that this summer cost me as a food service worker, it was a challenge for me to stay positive on this particular day.

Basically, there was a line out the door all. day. long.

We were short-staffed, yet again. Battling the onslaught of waffle tickets, I not only had to ignore the misbehaving children running laps up and down the aisle, but I had to wear the face of accommodation and politeness, as was my job.

Even if, on the inside, I was literally screaming.

It’s fine. I’m fine.

It was in the midst of this chaos though, that there suddenly rang the sweet sound of bells.

Now my first thought was: I swear if it’s kids that walk through that door ringing those damn bells…

And so, preparing myself to put on the face of Scrooge, I was surprised when it wasn’t kids that walked through that door, but Santa.

Wait. Santa?

Yes. The Santa Claus.

And it was like all time had stopped.

Coming out from behind the counter to take a closer look at Santa Claus who just so happened to waltz into our doors on the seemingly worst day of my life, I found a kid already with him, looking up at Santa’s face with the same fascination and awe that was written on mine.

And then I started to cry.

Because out of all the things to happen during a shift that was taking so much out of me emotionally, physically, and mentally, I never in my life, expected my saving grace to be THE Santa Claus.

But there he was: jolly, grinning, and spreading Christmas cheer.

And I just… couldn’t stop crying.

I was so overcome with emotion.

Santa Claus!

While I would’ve loved to jump on his lap and ask him for the day to just end and the screaming children to just shut up, I instead thanked him.

For saving me, for inspiring me, for making me realize that even during the worst of days, there’s opportunity for joy and light.

I guess, in the end, it was still a good thing that I didn’t put makeup on during that particular morning.

But I’m glad I cried. I’m glad I was moved to tears. And, like that little kid staring up at Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, I’m glad Santa was there when he was.

I’d like to think it was a little bit of Christmas magic that made him come in on that particular morning..

Cheers to you, Santa.