My funny Valentine.
a song to set the scene // my funny valentine by stories, bruno major
This year marked my first official celebration of Valentine’s Day.
*claps for self
It’s only taken me twenty-six years.
Better late than never.
Well, unfortunately, I spent most of the day working.
Which, to be honest, I wasn’t too upset about.
I’ve never really been a fan of Valentine’s Day, as many of past posts can tell you.
I’d always struggled with my persistent state of singledom and when this particular holiday rolled around in the already depressing dead of winter, it just made things feel inherently worse.
Getting blasted with commericizled superficial “love” wasn’t something that really rocked my boat, especially because it only seemed to suit those who were in actual relationships.
And I guess a relationship with my cat didn’t count.
Yet.
But this year, this year was different.
Because for the fist time ever, I wasn’t single on Valentine’s Day.
And because for the first time ever, I had been lucky enough to stumble across this incredible gem who had been in front of me this whole time. Waiting, ever so patiently, until the time was right.
Skipping the incredibly painful stages of early dating and the “getting to know you” phase, things for us just… fell into place with ease.
There was no pressure, no over-thinking, and no doubts on my end that whatever was happening was something genuine and special.
He had seen me at my best and he had seen me at my worst; and yet still, he accepted and adored me for who I was.
Man. I’m a lucky lady.
So this year, I wanted to do something a little special.
I mean, how could I not? We deserved it.
(after work though, cause remember I worked the whole day)
(*eye roll)
And so: I decided to surprise him with a little post-work scene.
Come on: it’s Valentine’s Day.
Getting home from my shift, I quickly drew a bath. While the water was running, I made up a candle-lit path leading to the bathroom, then slipped out of my clothes and settled under the bubbles, ever so seductively.
And then I waited for him.
I figured: well, I have some time, let’s shave the old legs.
Shaved my legs and thought: mind as well watch some Netflix while I’m waiting.
Time ticked by, and still no gem. Two episodes later, and still no gem.
Frustrated, and skin very quickly starting to prune, I finally got out.
Decided next: I’ll slip into one of my penoir sets and lay luxuriously across my bed.
Laid there for a bit, bored.
Still no gem.
Finally, I got a call from him.
“Hey, I’m outside your house but I can’t make it up your driveway.”
What do you mean you can’t make it up the driveway. You’re in a truck. It wasn’t like I lived on a cliff.
Curious, I paddled out to the living room nonetheless. In my sheer nightgown, I cozied up to the window and saw his truck indeed out in the driveway.
Unfortunately, he was in an apparent faceoff with a very stubborn moose. And this moose made no move to let him pass.
Well I'll be.
It’s Valentine’s Day and my gem is being co** blocked by a damn moose.
For the next ten minutes or so, I watched, entertained, as my gem back and forthed up and down the driveway trying to get to me.
Oh my funny Valentine.
The moose, not interested in letting him interrupt his consumption of crab apples, finally let him through and I was at long last reunited with my lover.
This would be how my first ever V-Day celebration would go.
I’ll spare you the details of the rest of the evening (some things are better left to the imagination), but I end this holiday with a smile on my face, happy knowing that there’s no other Valentine I’d rather watch facing off with a moose trying to get to me.
I “moose’d” have picked a good one..
