Crabby Apple.

I experienced my first feeling of being a homeowner the other evening.

It wasn’t when I did my first load of laundry in the new house, when I made my first dinner, when I actually paid my brother to mow my lawn (no more use of the family lawn mower!), or when I bathed my house in candlelight to conserve energy (because I now pay for electricity).

Those are all valid “first” moments of course, don’t get me wrong, but this particular situation made me feel like I was finally settling into the part of new homeowner.

I had just taken a shower and was sticking to the shadows as I made my way to the kitchen in nothing but a bathrobe. I don’t yet have window coverings, mind you, and while I’m sure my neighbors have already seen glimpses of me they wish they hadn’t (or perhaps not ;), I was trying my best to be somewhat discreet.

Gotta leave something to the imagination, right?

I spotted a commotion outside on my lawn and upon further investigation, saw what I assumed to be a nearby neighbor, age approximately 10, picking, no stealing, crab apples off MY crab apple tree.

I could not believe my eyes.

Thief! Hooligan! Street youth! How dare you pick crab apples off my crab apple tree?

Not wanting to make a mean first impression as the cranky woman in her bathrobe yelling at the kid picking apples off her property, I instead went to the window and gave him a curious look as he stuffed MY apples into his awaiting pockets.

At some point, he sensed my staring and finally looked my way.

Eyes widening, he responded with a rapid race back to his bike, crab apples spilling out along in his wake.

The urge to run out there in my robe and shake my broom yelling “Get off my porch!” was so strong, but I refrained, letting my glare say it all.

As he biked off into the night, I smiled to myself. I couldn’t exactly be that upset at the kid. After all, no one has lived in the house for the past few years and he probably assumed it was still empty, crab apples ripe for the picking.

But not anymore.

Oh no no no.

I’m the new gal on the block..