Hakuna matata.

“Today we’ll be talking about the pesky habit of worry.”

Perched at the end of my bed in nothing but me bare skivvies, I paused mid brush at the morning’s introduction into meditation.

Then I looked around, peered behind the curtains, and checked underneath my bed because as of late, my guided meditations have opened with expressions that so closely resonate with where I am in my life that it feels like…

They’re watching. Listening. It’s like they know.

I mean one time it was self-love on the day I needed it most, the next forgiveness, and then this morning: hakuna matata.

A Swahili phrase roughly translating to “there are no worries here”, I first heard this phrase from the Disney movie, “The Lion King.”

I mean who hasn’t?

And worry? Yeah, that’s something I can relate to right now.

It all began last week. I was going about my day when I received some unexpected news.

And it was not good news.

It was the kind of news that instantly brought up bittersweet memories and feelings of shame from that period in my life in which I’m trying so hard to forgive myself for, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t react very well.

Ducking outside to the deck, I hunched over, slipped out a rare expletive or two, and tried my hardest to remember all of my strategies for calming down. Because like clockwork, I could feel myself becoming consumed with panic. I sensed the flood of all these tender feelings come rushing in to pick at the wound that hadn’t quite healed just yet and for a hot second, I contemplated just letting it all take over.

It would’ve been so much easier to just let it all drown me.

But I’m not in the habit of doing easy anymore.

I crave goddamn difficult. And this? This felt like the universe was putting me to the test, a perfect opportunity to practice this emotional self-control.

And so, fighting against the cascade of overwhelming worry, I focused instead on breathing, working hard to just calm down.

Breath Elan. Just breathe.

As I inhaled through the nose and exhaled through the mouth (thank you yoga), I slowly saved myself from diving headfirst into what could’ve been another anxiety attack and just breathed.

And it worked. Flexing my calm muscles, I managed to get myself back into a state where I could then begin to think with clarity.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t over.

Though I was now calm, and though I had problem solved and taken care of what I could for the time being, I had a long wait ahead of me and regrettably, that’s when the worry appeared.

And me? I’m not good at dealing with worry. That’s part of where my anxiety stems from: this inclincation to dwell in the uncertainty.

So it’s only fitting that I would have a meditation focused on the very theme of having “no worries for the rest of your days.”

Because man wouldn’t it be nice not to have to worry.

See worrying is addictive.

Especially when you’re slightly insecure, susceptible to anxious thoughts, constantly over-thinking, and perpetually prone to anticipating the worst possible outcome.

Luckily, I’m becoming extremely self-aware of this wicked tendency and have become better at recognizing it when it comes creepin’ in.

Because all I’ve learned from incessant worrying is that it is a complete waste of energy and doesn’t accomplish anything. It amplifies anxiety and does not serve me. Can it change the outcome? No. Does it help pass the time? Never.

Like the meditation said: “Change starts with awareness. By catching ourselves, we distance us from our worried thoughts. We can observe with awareness and question whether our worrying is helpful.”

And most times? It’s not.

So whenever I sense that worry might be wandering in, I’ll just remember hakuna matata.

What a wonderful phrase.