down memory lane.

a song to set the scene // young forever by jay z

It was during my pre-show pee that memories came flooding back.

There I was, crouched in the stall of the bathroom at the high school, partaking in a routine that had not changed in 17 years.

The combination of that particular bathroom, mixed with hairspray, “sunshine” (sparkles applied to the top of a dancer’s hair before a show), and the very act of pulling down my leotard flooded me with memories past.

It felt like it had only been yesterday that I was getting ready for a dance show, nerves taking me to my familiar spot in the bathroom.

How had it been over a decade that I last danced like this?

But there I was, now getting ready to take the stage once again; this time, as an alumni dancer.

It was just over two weeks ago that I was contacted about performing in the company annual showcase as a veteran.

Honored, and slightly nervous, I accepted, and it’s been taking me down memory lane ever since.

Dusting off the old jazz shoes, getting reacquainted with my body, and applying makeup in the bathroom felt like riding that familiar bike.

It’s like my body never forgot.

Sure, I’m significantly older and my stamina isn’t quite what it used to be, but the muscle memory never left.

It’s funny, my initial thoughts about dancing in the show as an alum brought about insecurities about appearing as a has been dancer who never made it big.

But someone wise told me that the purpose of the alumni was to show the young dancers not that we were has been dancers who never made it big, but that dance never left us.

We were there to show them that no matter where life took them, their experiences performing stay with them, forever.

There’s a number at the end of the show that I get to watch before we go on.

In it, dancers hold various signs saying what dance means to them:

Friendship, Escape, For the Soul, My Body, Self-Expression, and a myriad of others speckle the stage.

For me, dance is forever.

It has, is, and it will continue to be a part of me for years to come.

And even though the hair grays, the flexibility flatlines, and the hips pop louder than they did 17 years ago, some things never change.

Like my pre-show pee.

Oh what a trip down memory lane.